On wakings such as this
Following sleeps long
Long enough sleeps for me
To be in withdrawal from nicotine and caffeine
When I ache, sick for poisons
Reminding me of aching for you sometimes
And I do
Sometimes on such wakings
I do recall sleeping just so
Side-by-side with you
Your foot atop mine, our toes encurled to a point
And holding hands above our heads so that we made a double-arch
And laid there looking for all the world like a Hallmark heart
Or how we would both fit full-prone on the couch somehow
To look at those enormous books of paintings we had
That fat-padded burnt sienna beast of a couch we called Barnaby
Those incredible big books of Western oilpaintings there in Asia
It figures I would find you in Asia, born though we were on
Opposite planes of the planet and neither anywhere near there
Oh, not to be too ballad about it, but I did think we would make it
I thought we would make it
And
Wakings such as this
Sometimes
I know that we did
We made it, and I’m smoking morning cigs
As the tepid Americano goes down
Until I’m sick no more for poisons
‘Til I ache no more for you
Reality kinda kicking in, then, now, I might think, like
“What am I doing here, so precariously, obviously
In the middle
Of a
Long
Poem –
One
At least
Twice as long as
Thus-far written?”
But on wakings such as this
Following those sleeps so long
Those long enough sleeps for me to be
Reminded of aching for you sometimes
I’ll try not to foil the poesy up by coming-to in the middle
Or by rhyming (except maybe just a little)
Or writing about writing
About writing
Much
So
That it can be
A poem of substance!
Fit to enshrine these memories of you, of us
Into its reliquary, holy, where I’m saying your name but not with my fingers
And I’m saying your name again and again
Words of love – even such as these of love long gone
Yet loving on
Such words can be prayer
Or have at the least a similar power
Over me
On
Wakings
Like this when I say
Good morning to you – hallelujah! and
Can I get an amen?
wee ditty 