The prompt for the last Stream of Consciousness Saturday of 2017 is “resolution.”
This prompt brings readily to mind three things for me to write about. The first is the most obvious – resolutions for 2018. The second is the new monitor I have just set up. The third is a playful breakdown of the word into (re)solution, as in solving again…
My resolutions for 2018 include weening myself off of cigarettes, and exercising.
My new monitor… is ENORMOUS! No more hunching over the laptop squinting at its wee screen; I’m on to bigger and better viewing. Short story long, my father has in recent years upgraded to a smart TV, and the big flatscreen he formerly used has been languishing in his basement waiting for me to put it to good use, which I finally have done…
…which brings me to (re)solution.
What can it mean? To solve again?
It makes me think of the concept of ‘unlearning’, which I feel is powerful and important.
In the years since the onset of my disorder, one of the main constructs in regards to which I have had to unlearn and find (re)solution is ‘success’.
Growing up where I did and when I did, it was only natural for me to find instilled in me a definition of success which centered mainly on the material (i.e. money and possessions). High-paying job, nice car(s), big house, land, investments… these are success, right? Along with finding a mate, raising some children well, etc.
Well, if that’s success, then I’m NOT.
So, in order not to feel like a big failure, I have had to unlearn that construct and come up with a (re)solution of what it is to be a success. My new definition involves qualities like these:
And according to this sort of rubric, I can smile and count myself a success.
I would love to hear about any (re)solutions you have made in your life.
All the best in 2018!