Hendel & The Change Triangle :: Reblog

Hilary Jacobs Hendel


I discover that under my anxiety is the core emotion of fear.

Fear feels similar to anxiety but anxiety doesn’t come with a prescription for what to do. Anxiety tends to paralyze instead of inform. But fear? We can actually deal with fear! Here’s how:

I ask my fear, “What is it you are afraid of?” My fear answers me, “I’m afraid of embarrassing myself, afraid of disappointing my readers.”

Ahhh… now I’m really getting somewhere. Fear, like all core emotions, includes hard-wired impulses. Fear tells us to run away as if we’re in danger from a pouncing lion. So, here’s what I can do to manage these impulses:

I ask myself, do I want to act on my fear and run away from writing the blog? Or do I want to tolerate my fear (courage!) and have a go at it?  I decide to try. I remind myself that even if my fear comes true I will most certainly survive (unlike if a lion pounced on me).

So, how am I feeling now? Better. Now that I’ve found and named my fear, my anxiety diminishes. I feel calmer because I am clearer about what is upsetting me. I’ve chosen courage over fear and I’m inspired to get this blog done!


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